Making Peace With Imperfections

I’m often accused of talking too much about myself.

This embarrassed me immensely when I was younger. As I grew older, I started receiving the ‘compliment’ with a pinch-of-salt. Beginning to accept it as a personal folly now and sincerely laugh along with those who find it funny. I call it a partnership laugh. Sometimes even that isn’t received well! Partnership laughs are rare, as rare as true love!

Jokes are never really common ground. They offend far more than they amuse, is my latest and greatest, age-related learning. Age-related learning is sometimes called wisdom and maturity. I prefer to use age related learning though, fearing more comments on my wisdom and maturity. Someone actually said this to me once, “both your kids seem more mature than you. ha-ha!”. Wasn’t quite sure if that was a compliment or just another ha-ha. I just took it as a parenting skills compliment and forgot all about it.

But what has remained constant is that I talk about myself, choosing it over talking about anyone else!

Talking about the weather is second on my list. Whenever there is silence, I talk about the weather, especially when its getting cold. I love the chill! Maybe because I grew up in a desert… so warm is home, while cold is a treat, something like a party, a total mood mender! People usually look forward to stuff that isn’t home and is not easily available. The distant, the far and the unattainable is always more attractive than what lies inside or beside us.

Still discovering the special that lies within; meanwhile, here’s a list of some imperfections I am learning to make peace with:

  1. It feels like a jet lag to be nice – to everyone, all the time and everyday- now these are three different things to me!
  2. Find it exhausting to be motherly perfect, socially and financially productive, equally so, on all days of the week.
  3. The hair, the face and the clothes are never in happy harmony… ever! One of them is always rebelling.
  4. Humour is cathartic, so I’ve always believed. Amusing myself keeps me going yet it can be socially catastrophic when you are seriously letting out!
  5. I push doors that say “pull”!
  6. I like nonsense. Lots of it!
  7. Reacting often, and speaking faster than I think, is definitely a weakness.
  8. Sharing too much and overly communicating, and probably expecting the same, can be a huge problem.
  9. Being patient for really long and bursting just when its most important to be calm, is a sure shortfall.
  10. Distancing myself from people who are boring and whose kitchens and washrooms aren’t clean (not good enough reasons to alienate I am told!), is yet another personal deficiency.

Listing your imperfections is probably just a tiny beginning to knowing yourself better. The list can go on and on.

Making peace with your imperfections is about accepting your flaws and follies. It is also about understanding that even the drop dead gorgeous and the fabulous have good and bad days, and so can I! More importantly its about presenting yourself as perfectly imperfect to your little people.

When someone you look up to, like your mum and dad, can be imperfect, so can you!

When stress to be perfect eases, we begin to perform and progress!

To laugh at peers or to laugh at children’s fears is not helpful. Showing kids to laugh at life’s absurdities, mistakes and oneself is the kind of humour that helps us to heal and deal with the world. When shortfalls are celebrated and mistakes are enjoyed, they cease to be a problem.

Children ought to grow with the idea that mothers are not machines, fathers are not formulas and people are not perfect… that will make them more forgiving towards themselves too.

I’m learning to make peace with my imperfections… would love to know if some of you are too… just so I feel normal :)) !

 

Rohini Sethi                                                                                                                                          

Child Development Consultant        

https://in.linkedin.com/in/rohini-sethi-32715247